Assassination Vacation Kansas Style
As I exited the free bathroom finally able to concentrate on things other than getting to the bathroom, I noticed I was between a plastic version of the world’s tallest man and the world’s fattest woman. This is not what I expected to see at The Alamo. Of course, one of the great things about America is that we take sacred places where people have died, and we find a way to turn them into cheap carnivals.
In fact, a few years back, Sarah Vowel wrote a book called Assassination Vacation in which she visited all of the shrines we have built for Lincoln, McKinley and Garfield, three presidents who were assassinated. I enjoyed her book, and the scene at The Alamo made me wonder if I could take my own assassination vacation. My plan for this summer is to visit regional tourist attractions related to people who have been murdered or killed in battle. Then I will share my adventures with you.
Meanwhile, back at The Alamo, Ripley’s Believe It or Not employees stood on the sidewalk trying to get people to enter their unbelievable world, but except for a few old men wearing shorts, white socks and dress shoes, they were not having much luck. Across the street, the Alamo itself has been fairly well preserved, and knowledgeable tour guides helped us understand that The Alamo was not even part of the United States when the famous fight ensued. We also saw the room where the women and children hid and ultimately survived the attacks. This helped explain why I learned everyone who fought at the Alamo died, yet we know what happened there.
We went across the street to the river walk, and we entered what looked like a mall. My husband pulled me aside and whispered “I’m not eating here.” We continued up the river, and began enjoying ourselves the further from the mall we got. To our delight, we saw a lost duckling recover from getting run over by a tourist barge. So we left feel better about the river walk, too.
Texas, it turns out, teams with eye candy and novel fodder. I can’t wait to see what I will find in Kansas City, Omaha, or St. Joe. By the way, I am grateful for the free bathroom at Ripley’s Believe It or Not, no matter what I think of the show.
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Posted by admin
on Jun 8 2011. Filed under Beth Gulley.
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