The Importance of Fathers
By Jeremy Gulley
I sat with forty people in the unseasonably warm October air and watched people shiver in the obviously cold water of Miola Lake.
They had come to be baptized.
I think it is important that you know about the church I attend. It meets in the lobby of the homeless shelter in Paola called My Father’s House. Our congregation is a mix of middle class families and families who have fallen on hard times. We have members who have never fit in at a regular church, but feel at home with us. Our goal is to be a place where people who need some help can get it, and where everyone feels welcomed – especially kids.
So when we announced that we were having a baptism service, of course it was the children who were interested.
On Sunday afternoon, four children and one adult with special needs took their turns walking waist deep into the water, expressed their love of God, and then allowed Jay Preston, our pastor, to fully submerge them in the frigid water (for the record, the man with special needs chose to walk in up to his ankles and let Jay pour water over his head – the smartest one out there, I think).
My son Asher went first. I proudly watched as he walked in, was dunked back under the water, and came up smiling. I felt grateful that I was able to experience this with him. As he finished, however, and the other children took their turns, I couldn’t help but notice that Asher was the only child whose father was present.
My heart broke as I realized that four children were making a dramatic and important decision without their fathers. I felt especially sad when one of the kids made sure to announce that his name ended with Junior.
Being a father is the most important role in my life, and one that I take very seriously. I have seen too often the issues caused by absent fathers, angry fathers, or fathers that find any excuse to avoid authentic relationship with their children, and I vowed to not be that way when I had kids. I’m not perfect, but I do try very hard. I try to listen, I try to pay attention to who my kids are and not try to make them what I want them to be. I take my role very seriously.
As my wife and I left the lake on Sunday, I mentioned my observations to her. “We are their family,” she said to me, “all of those people at the lake are their family.”
She’s right, I thought, they didn’t have to come out on a Sunday afternoon. They didn’t have to take time away from their lives to watch five people get baptized. But they did.
I can’t be a father to all of them, but I did realize on Sunday that I need to take my role as a member of my church and as a role model to those kids just as seriously as I take my role as a father. I don’t know if I can make a difference, but I do know that I can try.
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Posted by admin
on Oct 6 2011. Filed under Jeremy Gulley, Opinion.
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