Don’t Say That Word
I was admonished this week for using the word “butt” when referring to the section of humans that is used for sitting.
“What word should I use instead?” I asked.
I was told that I should use the more appropriate term, “bottom.”
I thought about this for a minute. Since the part I am referring to is not the bottom of anything, I wondered why I would call it the bottom. I would think that my feet would be the bottom and that it would be more accurate to call that area the middle. “Get your middle over here” I would now have to say to my boys. It doesn’t have the ring I’m looking for.
How about “derriere?”
No, too French. I refuse to call any part of my body by a French word. Bum isn’t any better, either. I made a promise to myself years ago to never adapt a word from a different culture to refer to anything that has a perfectly acceptable equivalent in my own language and dialect.
“Well then, say posterior.”
Not for my taste, no thank you. Posterior could be anything that is on the back of a person. Being a person who likes to be as specific as possible, I cannot generalize to that degree.
Rump?
Hiney?
Rear end?
Buns?
Gluteus maximus?
Fanny?
Tushy?
Behind?
Backside?
Caboose?
Cheeks?
I thought, man, now you’re just embarrassing yourself.
“Butt,” said I, “is short for buttocks. What is the problem with butt being short for buttocks?”
“It is offensive and rude” was the response.
Offensive and rude?
I asked myself, what is offensive and rude about shortening a word? I am afraid to think about where we will end if this line of reasoning is followed. What other words are now going to be deemed offensive by using the abbreviation is bad idea. I can now no longer use words like abs, Matt, email, ADMIN, AMMO, VEGGIE, MEMO, LIMO OR LAB. Most of my vocabulary is now useless.
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Posted by Jeremy
on Sep 1 2010. Filed under Jeremy Gulley, Opinion.
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