Sick of Being Sick

By Jeremy Gulley

For three days last week, I was so sick all I could do was lie on the couch and do nothing but read and watch T.V. Luckily for me, all of my obligations were cancelled because of the weather, so I literally had nothing to do other than be sick. At some point in my life, I’m sure I thought that sitting around for three days doing nothing would be just what the doctor ordered, but being who I am now, it was miserable.

I like to move. I like to do things, see things and learn things. Sitting around the house sick leaves little to learn, but I offer to you the top 10 lessons I learned during my virus induced hibernation:

1) No matter how much time I have in a day, or how many days I have, I will never be able to keep up with the Kardashians. It probably isn’t even worth the effort anymore.

2) When I am sick, my living room, dining room and kitchen easily turn into a very large and marginally comfortable private bedroom – especially when nobody wants to get close to me for fear of catching what I have.

3) Though effective, I do not recommend a virus as a diet plan.

4) There must be worse ways to wake from a fever-induced hallucination sleep than to a Great Dane licking your face, but, for the life of me, I can think of none.

5) God’s first name must be Campbell. God bless soup.

6) Priorities change quickly: at one point last week I was going to go run 30 miles in the snow, but my major achievement turned out to be standing up. I was so very proud.

7) With all of the inexpensive ways to get flatter abs, reduce debt and work from home using the internet with no start up fee – why isn’t everyone skinny rich and working from home?

8) Column ideas don’t come easily when all I do is sit on the couch and atrophy.

9) Someone is looking out for me, because it was a miracle that all of my classes were cancelled just when I became the most ill. Incidentally, my first Comp II class was Thursday night, and for some reason I decided I would try to teach. When I arrived at the school, not knowing how I was going to stand up for three hours, let alone teach, the empty parking lot and CLOSED sign were a welcome sight. So, thank you to whoever has my back.

10) I really don’t like being sick.

Short URL: http://osawatominews.com/?p=825

Posted by admin on Jan 26 2011. Filed under Jeremy Gulley, Opinion. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

Leave a Reply